Letter to my Fifteen Year old Self

I recently attended a training on how to facilitate girls' discussions, and they made us do an activity where we had to imagine ourselves as fifteen year olds. After walking us through this vision, they asked us to write a letter to our fifteen year old self. This is what I wrote.

Dear Self:

There's a lot of things I can say to you today but I won't. I will tell you that your life does turn out to be pretty darn good, alhamdullilah. The challenges you are facing right now will only make you stronger and wiser. For me to give you the answers before you find them will compromise who you are meant to become.

But I am here today to tell you one thing I would have done differently if I could get those fifteen years back: Celebrate yourself. Celebrate your every accomplishment, no matter how small. Take a moment to reward yourself when you achieve a goal. Savor the moment. Don't just rush to the next one. And don't trivialize the value you offer the world. If you can celebrate yourself, I promise you that no challenge will be too difficult to handle, because you will know deep down that you can, and you will. And if you celebrate yourself, then the rest of the world will have no choice but to celebrate you also, because you are one amazing, unique young woman.

This is something I have not given a priority to, and is one of my greatest struggles even as I turn thirty. Fifteen years later, I realize now how important it is to be able to believe in your strengths and to be able to receive, and enjoy, praise. And how empowering it is to hear kind words being spoken about you.

Celebrate yourself. And do your friends the same favor by celebrating them too. Your life will truly take a different direction.

Wishing you well,

Your Almost-thirty year old self.

Remaining Neutral in Times of Moral Crisis

It's been a while since I've written, and I really have no excuse not to have kept up. But lately, I've had a lot on my mind, and I thought it would be nice to get it all out there in writing.

I just went to a funders luncheon on Thursday, where the keynote speaker was Soledad O'Brien of CNN News. Her speech spoke of a lot of anecdotes of people working hard to bring about change, and she ended her speech with a quote that I just have not been able to shake off. Dante said, "The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who in times of great moral crisis maintain their neutrality." She continued to explain this by saying, "Those who remain neutral and don't speak out during a moral crisis and don't call for action, are actually worse than the perpetrator themselves."

Perhaps this is especially relevant to me because there are specific instances right now in my personal life where this is actually happening - certain people not being able to do the right thing, or speak out against injustice, and rather, are almost as if they are paralyzed by what has happened.

But, I think it is also relevant to me professionally, and as a member of a community, because there are countless instances where this just keeps happening. My conversations with Islamic school educators and administrators has really opened up my eyes to some really serious situations. Severe bullying, substance abuse, and sexual experimentation is rampant in our Islamic schools. When administrators are made aware of these problems, they merely look the other way, pretending they doesn't exist. Severe substance abuse, attempted suicides, and risky sexual activity are plaguing our youth, and often, these are young people crying out for help, and other times, these are young people who just know that they can, so they do.

Maybe I just lived in a bubble my whole life, and it just now recently burst. But honestly, 2010 has been a really hard year for me because over and over again, I just keep seeing instances where people become paralyzed by moral crisis and continue with life as if nothing happened.

Is it just easier? To ignore the problem? To deny that it exists? What will it take for us to wake up, and stand up for justice? Have we, as a society become so delusional and self-centered, that we just can't see beyond ourselves? Have we as a society become so wrapped up in cultural stigma, and judgment and preoccupied with what other people will say that we just can't face the problems that afflict us? Because if you address the problem, it's admitting that it exists, and if you try to seek help for the problem, you're risking getting exposed. Is that just it? Are we so paralyzed by the shame and embarrassment that accompany these issues that we just can't simply move past that part of dealing with it?

I suppose this is all a part of getting older. Being disappointed by people, by society, and trying to make sense of it. Trying most of all, to still see the good in those same people, in society at large, and not to be disheartened by all of this. Such is the will of the All-Mighty, and His plan is always the best.